I guess I never really did tell everyone about my first ski/snowboard trip I went on two weeks ago. I have a good buddy who is quite the snowboard enthusiast. We chat almost every day and are in community group together. It was Wednesday and I was talking about taking a little vacation with a small portion of my tax return. I had mentioned a ski trip for the first time. He said he was thinking about taking his yearly trip to Hidden Valley soon. We looked at the calendar and realized if it wasn't that weekend, it wouldn't be for a long time. So I called up some people to cover my church responsibilities and plans were set. This was a few days after the ice storm, but we called the lodge and they said it was all snow.
I'm a planner so this was quietly freaking me out a little. Daniel could sense it some but was very kind about it. He let me borrow snow gear and a board. And off we went Saturday morning. We picked up an old school friend of his named Nick in Memphis, then headed north. It was about a 6.5 hour drive. We got there around 3:00 pm to a packed parking lot and 40-50 degree temperature. I had to rent boots and we had a brief scare when a sign said they were out of my size. But just as we walked in, a pair was available.
The first snowboard lesson wasn't until 5:00. So Daniel and Nick graciously showed me some very beginner stuff, but eventually I told them not to waste all their time on me. The lesson was good...they taught how to turn and lean on your heels and toes. After the lesson, Daniel stopped by and saw my "progress" and gave some pointers. They were spot on because my turns started getting better immediately.
After 10:00 or so, I'm still slowly working up and down the beginner hill. Still can't stop without purposefully falling to do so. I'm going up the tow rope and ahead of me is a skier. They tell you to get out of the way if you fall off the rope, but she doesn't and I have to let go and crash in order to keep from colliding with her. Jacked up my wrist in doing so, which ended my night. My tailbone was pretty dang sore by that point too.
We hit the hotel room and pretty much fell asleep on the spot. Denny's for breakfast the next morning, then hit the park again. At this point, it is taking a lot of mental encouragement to keep struggling through beginner pains. The guys show me (and explain the need for) sliding down the hill with the board perpendicular. This slows the descent and was the first step in learning to stop without having to fall down. Work on that for a few hours (lol) and I'm starting to get okay at it. But falls still occur. Well, I'm scared about my wrist so I'm purposefully falling a different way...which leads to me tweaking my shoulder. Didn't think anything of it because it really didn't hurt that bad. Breaks come more frequently today as every muscle in my body (even ones not used directly in snowboarding) begin to protest. By 3:00 pm, an hour before we needed to leave, I was done. I had started at the top of the beginner slope, came around the area by the lodge, and down another beginner slope (think a big L shape) and stopped without falling. Wanted to end on a good note.
The ride back was pretty uncomfortable and I moved stiffly for two days, but it was all worth it. I'm grateful to Daniel and Nick for the experience and great time. Can't wait to do it again.
P.S. The extent of my shoulder tweak wasn't known to me until I was lifting heavy equipment on Thursday to clear the stage at church and I jacked it up. Still dealing with that, but I say it was and is all worth it. :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Digital TV Conversion Delayed
This is a tad bit frustrating. It is official, TV stations will not have to flip the switch to digital on the 17th. They still can if they want to, but it is not mandatory until June. Here's my issue: these TV stations worked hard to get the equipment and facilities ready for this change. They have spammed commercials and ads and banners every 30 seconds for the last 8 months. The whole project has been in the works for three years.
The reasons cited for the delay are consumer confusion and that the government subsidy for the boxes ran out of money. Okay, the first reason is laughable. If consumers haven't figured it out by now and taken the necessary steps, then the only thing that will push them into taking action will be for them to not have TV on the 17th. I ask you, will it not now be more confusing when the new ads and banners go up saying "just kidding about 2/17...you have until June now..."
I hope our Arkansas stations will go ahead and flip the switch on the 17th, for all the promotions and consumer education that has been going on. There are more important things for our government to be debating and voting on...
The reasons cited for the delay are consumer confusion and that the government subsidy for the boxes ran out of money. Okay, the first reason is laughable. If consumers haven't figured it out by now and taken the necessary steps, then the only thing that will push them into taking action will be for them to not have TV on the 17th. I ask you, will it not now be more confusing when the new ads and banners go up saying "just kidding about 2/17...you have until June now..."
I hope our Arkansas stations will go ahead and flip the switch on the 17th, for all the promotions and consumer education that has been going on. There are more important things for our government to be debating and voting on...
Monday, February 2, 2009
My Life:...to the Present (Part 5)
I mentioned I graduated with honors. To do that, we each had to do an honors thesis. I hooked up with my biology professor, who knew of some interesting research going on at UAMS. I had decided a couple years into my college courses that I no longer wanted to do medical school. I became very interested in NASA, actually. The research was taking a look at bone loss in simulated space environments. Through this connection--not to mention it was close to Searcy--I decided to attend graduate school there. I applied for the PhD program in Physiology. Working for the last time in Garland, I said adieu to Texas and made my permanent move to Arkansas in early July. Bryan was having his second surgery so I wanted to come on up. Although my mom and I toured for apartments previously, the only ones that stood out were ones I didn't get to see firsthand. So I basically moved into Chenal Lakes Apartments sight unseen. That was on a Saturday. With everything still in boxes, I saw a church around the corner and just opted to visit it on Sunday. Needless to say, I haven't left Parkway Place since. Think God had a hand in that? :)
Back then, the pastors did "pop" visits, where they came over and brought a soda. My pastor was Leslie Willis. We talked a bit and he asked if I sang. Thanks to Janie, I was again, so he invited me to choir practice.
School started up and it was way worse than I could ever have imagined. There were only 6-8 of us in the class, but every single other person already had a connection to a professor and knew what they would be researching. I--having come from a small, private, liberal arts college--had no idea what I was doing. And that made for a very stressful year. Being handed professional journal articles and expected to critically analyze it in a presentation was a nightmare. I made my first "C". Then I had no clue as to what I wanted to research yet, so I would rotate labs. Well, the professors would ask what I wanted to do. You can imagine how well it went over when I said "I'm not sure." Long story short, I was not a quality student in their eyes. It came to a head one day when a professors told me I was acting like a "5th grader" and asked why I wanted to get this degree. She said that my research had to be the. most. important. thing. in. my. life. Well that was a red flag and in that moment, I knew I didn't want to live that way either. So at the end of my coursework, I went to the chairman and asked to use my credits for a master's degree. He agreed, indicated this was a one way trip.
Before I continue that story, I have to pick back up on my experiences at PPBC. I was suffering from huge separation anxiety from OBU. I would go back every Saturday for football games and to see friends. But back in Little Rock, I was hurting. I would spend all my free time in chat rooms online. I joined these silly role playing groups and would sit and chat "in character" for hours on end. I went to see the pastor, Allan Greer, a couple months after moving. He could see my struggle and invited me to do "Experiencing God" with him one-on-one. I also met a crazy guy named Jared Hodges, who was the interim student pastor. We became friends and he invited me to some events with the students. I guess you could say that's when I became involved with the student ministry. Leslie also asked if I knew enough "tech" to help out on Wednesdays with sound. So, I guess that's when I became involved with the A/V team.
The church eventually got a full-time student minister. But as I said, I was really struggling with a lot of issues. The student minister and I never really had a solid relationship. I loved those students though. We made some crazy videos back then (check them out on my Youtube page), and I ran sound for the services. Good times.
So back to school...it's 2003 (I've been in LR for two years). I've opted to go for a master's degree instead. So I needed a job. There was a chemistry position open at Little Rock Christian Academy. I interviewed; it went really well. They seemingly were on their way to hire me by the types of things they asked me and the comments they made. I knew God's hand was in this unexpected turn. Oh His hand was definitely involved, just in an...unexpected way. I graduated, but then didn't get the job. I was completely devastated. So certain I was, of God's leading in this, that when it didn't happen, I questioned everything I knew about God.
A few weeks into the summer, the student ministry went on a mission trip to Arizona. I had already committed so I went. But that was really my breaking point. I was so confused and angry that what I was doing out there made no sense. And I kept getting pushed to produce. It got so bad I was contemplating leaving this middle-of-the desert place and find a way to get to the airport to fly home. Allan was on the trip and was going into town one day and I jumped in the van. He could see my pain and frustration and lovingly talked me down. We returned home; I was working at Chenal Country Club. I met with Allan and another mentor, Tim Knight, for weeks. We read "Celebration of Discipline" together. I quit the student ministry, because I knew I had no business being in that position in the state I was in. It was such a hard decision.
In the meanwhile I was looking for a job. But the situation got worse: my hours were cut back to about 8-12 per week. I had to get help for two months to pay my rent. One Sunday in November, I was convicted to take my tithe to church, something I didn't really know about until having read "Celebration of Discipline." But I didn't. On Monday, I dropped to my knees for the first time in my life since having given my life to Jesus and begged God to act. I took my meager check up to church and handed it to the secretary. Hours later, I received a phone call to interview at the State Crime Lab for a Forensic Chemist position. In December, I started there.
At church, many exciting things were going on. "40 Days of Purpose" was revolutionary and stands out in my mind. I began singing on the Praise Team, while also taking on more responsibilities on the A/V team. Eventually we started to video the service, so I made the tough choice of leaving the choir and just doing A/V ministry. I tried leading a young single adult ministry for a while, but that wasn't part of God's plan for me, so I let that go too.
The crime lab was awesome. In fact, I loved it and felt pride and purpose there. Like any place, there were a few people who just didn't click with me. When I transferred sections, in fact, I had many a run-in with a coworker. I also began teaching as an adjunct instructor for Pulaski Tech a couple of evenings a week. (I feel sorry for my first class. I was pretty terrible.) I was getting increasing responsibilities in small doses there, but the politics of the place were starting to eat at me. In spring 2007, the director of the science curriculum at the nursing school campus where I taught was promoted and recommended me for her position. The possibilities--not to mention the better salary--were very enticing and in June 2007, I was hired. And that's my job to this day. I like it well enough, though it is not entirely everything I expected. I struggle with patience almost every day when it comes to dealing with student who can't seem to help themselves or don't want to do the work it takes. That's something God is still working on with me. /wink
While I was working at the crime lab, a coworker got me interested in online gaming. She told me about World of Warcraft, specifically. (Go ahead and groan.) I started playing with them and eventually a lot more than them. I mean A LOT more. I honestly became addicted. There was a span of months where as soon as I got home, I would log in (around 4:30) and would sign out at bedtime (around 10:30). Every Saturday, I would wake up and play, logging 12 hours easily. I mean it when I say every literal minute I wasn't at work or church, I was playing this game. Every minute. It had its share of guild drama (guilds being the group of people you play with), but man was it fun. I went to the midnight release of the expansion pack. I even custom built a computer to handle the graphics of the game without a hitch. But soon after the expansion, the drama of playing with other people got to me. My guild broke apart after I had worked so hard for months building up my character. I didn't want to start from scratch with another guild, having gotten fairly high in the ranks of the one I was in. (Can you tell this was serious business?) So I quit. And really, it was a good thing. I was wasting my life away on this game. Over two years of playing it--and I'm embarrassed to admit this--I spent four months of actual play time online. /cough Moving on...
In the time since I worked at the crime lab and PTC, PPBC has grown so much, and so have I. The student pastor left after only a couple of years (which left me feeling kind of vindicated for some odd reason.) A new student pastor came and eventually I re-connected to the student ministry. I made friends and some friends moved away. But the fact is, for the first time in my life, the meaning of "relationship" is something real and positive. And I'm building eternal friendships with many people.
During the last couple of years, as we started our second venue Passion, my responsibilities on the A/V have exponentially multiplied. I joined an amazing community group led by Larry Remington, our Discipleship Pastor. I met with him one-on-one for a long while, telling him things that I have told no other person. He guided and taught and listened...he is one of the most important people in my life. I've since moved to a new community group which my closest friends started. A very hard decision, indeed.
There was a time as I served on the A/V team, when I let the busyness of it become my idol. I had to take a break and did so. During that time, God really showed me what it means to serve and do so in love. Over the course of our "Imagine" campaign last fall, Allan met with me and basically said he was looking to me to lead the A/V team in excellence and service. To have that put on me, along with all the projects I had going for this campaign was simply overwhelming. But I didn't do it alone; my God was the source of strength I needed and name in which I turned to for wisdom.
I look back on the years at OBU and realize how much of a baby Christian I was, having no clue as to the vastness of God's love and grace. Through much patience and love and listening, the pastors and leaders at PPBC have grown me in ways I never thought imaginable. And the exciting part is, as much wisdom and growth as I feel I've learned from them, there's still so much more to learn about our great God! There were a couple of opportunities in the past years for me to move away, but I know that God has called me to this place in this time to serve here. My job is my provision (even enabling me to buy a house about a year ago); my purpose is my ministry.
So all that is left to say is "to be continued" because as much as God has worked on me these last few years--growing me by leaps and bounds--there's certainly more in store. Thanks for reading!
Back then, the pastors did "pop" visits, where they came over and brought a soda. My pastor was Leslie Willis. We talked a bit and he asked if I sang. Thanks to Janie, I was again, so he invited me to choir practice.
School started up and it was way worse than I could ever have imagined. There were only 6-8 of us in the class, but every single other person already had a connection to a professor and knew what they would be researching. I--having come from a small, private, liberal arts college--had no idea what I was doing. And that made for a very stressful year. Being handed professional journal articles and expected to critically analyze it in a presentation was a nightmare. I made my first "C". Then I had no clue as to what I wanted to research yet, so I would rotate labs. Well, the professors would ask what I wanted to do. You can imagine how well it went over when I said "I'm not sure." Long story short, I was not a quality student in their eyes. It came to a head one day when a professors told me I was acting like a "5th grader" and asked why I wanted to get this degree. She said that my research had to be the. most. important. thing. in. my. life. Well that was a red flag and in that moment, I knew I didn't want to live that way either. So at the end of my coursework, I went to the chairman and asked to use my credits for a master's degree. He agreed, indicated this was a one way trip.
Before I continue that story, I have to pick back up on my experiences at PPBC. I was suffering from huge separation anxiety from OBU. I would go back every Saturday for football games and to see friends. But back in Little Rock, I was hurting. I would spend all my free time in chat rooms online. I joined these silly role playing groups and would sit and chat "in character" for hours on end. I went to see the pastor, Allan Greer, a couple months after moving. He could see my struggle and invited me to do "Experiencing God" with him one-on-one. I also met a crazy guy named Jared Hodges, who was the interim student pastor. We became friends and he invited me to some events with the students. I guess you could say that's when I became involved with the student ministry. Leslie also asked if I knew enough "tech" to help out on Wednesdays with sound. So, I guess that's when I became involved with the A/V team.
The church eventually got a full-time student minister. But as I said, I was really struggling with a lot of issues. The student minister and I never really had a solid relationship. I loved those students though. We made some crazy videos back then (check them out on my Youtube page), and I ran sound for the services. Good times.
So back to school...it's 2003 (I've been in LR for two years). I've opted to go for a master's degree instead. So I needed a job. There was a chemistry position open at Little Rock Christian Academy. I interviewed; it went really well. They seemingly were on their way to hire me by the types of things they asked me and the comments they made. I knew God's hand was in this unexpected turn. Oh His hand was definitely involved, just in an...unexpected way. I graduated, but then didn't get the job. I was completely devastated. So certain I was, of God's leading in this, that when it didn't happen, I questioned everything I knew about God.
A few weeks into the summer, the student ministry went on a mission trip to Arizona. I had already committed so I went. But that was really my breaking point. I was so confused and angry that what I was doing out there made no sense. And I kept getting pushed to produce. It got so bad I was contemplating leaving this middle-of-the desert place and find a way to get to the airport to fly home. Allan was on the trip and was going into town one day and I jumped in the van. He could see my pain and frustration and lovingly talked me down. We returned home; I was working at Chenal Country Club. I met with Allan and another mentor, Tim Knight, for weeks. We read "Celebration of Discipline" together. I quit the student ministry, because I knew I had no business being in that position in the state I was in. It was such a hard decision.
In the meanwhile I was looking for a job. But the situation got worse: my hours were cut back to about 8-12 per week. I had to get help for two months to pay my rent. One Sunday in November, I was convicted to take my tithe to church, something I didn't really know about until having read "Celebration of Discipline." But I didn't. On Monday, I dropped to my knees for the first time in my life since having given my life to Jesus and begged God to act. I took my meager check up to church and handed it to the secretary. Hours later, I received a phone call to interview at the State Crime Lab for a Forensic Chemist position. In December, I started there.
At church, many exciting things were going on. "40 Days of Purpose" was revolutionary and stands out in my mind. I began singing on the Praise Team, while also taking on more responsibilities on the A/V team. Eventually we started to video the service, so I made the tough choice of leaving the choir and just doing A/V ministry. I tried leading a young single adult ministry for a while, but that wasn't part of God's plan for me, so I let that go too.
The crime lab was awesome. In fact, I loved it and felt pride and purpose there. Like any place, there were a few people who just didn't click with me. When I transferred sections, in fact, I had many a run-in with a coworker. I also began teaching as an adjunct instructor for Pulaski Tech a couple of evenings a week. (I feel sorry for my first class. I was pretty terrible.) I was getting increasing responsibilities in small doses there, but the politics of the place were starting to eat at me. In spring 2007, the director of the science curriculum at the nursing school campus where I taught was promoted and recommended me for her position. The possibilities--not to mention the better salary--were very enticing and in June 2007, I was hired. And that's my job to this day. I like it well enough, though it is not entirely everything I expected. I struggle with patience almost every day when it comes to dealing with student who can't seem to help themselves or don't want to do the work it takes. That's something God is still working on with me. /wink
While I was working at the crime lab, a coworker got me interested in online gaming. She told me about World of Warcraft, specifically. (Go ahead and groan.) I started playing with them and eventually a lot more than them. I mean A LOT more. I honestly became addicted. There was a span of months where as soon as I got home, I would log in (around 4:30) and would sign out at bedtime (around 10:30). Every Saturday, I would wake up and play, logging 12 hours easily. I mean it when I say every literal minute I wasn't at work or church, I was playing this game. Every minute. It had its share of guild drama (guilds being the group of people you play with), but man was it fun. I went to the midnight release of the expansion pack. I even custom built a computer to handle the graphics of the game without a hitch. But soon after the expansion, the drama of playing with other people got to me. My guild broke apart after I had worked so hard for months building up my character. I didn't want to start from scratch with another guild, having gotten fairly high in the ranks of the one I was in. (Can you tell this was serious business?) So I quit. And really, it was a good thing. I was wasting my life away on this game. Over two years of playing it--and I'm embarrassed to admit this--I spent four months of actual play time online. /cough Moving on...
In the time since I worked at the crime lab and PTC, PPBC has grown so much, and so have I. The student pastor left after only a couple of years (which left me feeling kind of vindicated for some odd reason.) A new student pastor came and eventually I re-connected to the student ministry. I made friends and some friends moved away. But the fact is, for the first time in my life, the meaning of "relationship" is something real and positive. And I'm building eternal friendships with many people.
During the last couple of years, as we started our second venue Passion, my responsibilities on the A/V have exponentially multiplied. I joined an amazing community group led by Larry Remington, our Discipleship Pastor. I met with him one-on-one for a long while, telling him things that I have told no other person. He guided and taught and listened...he is one of the most important people in my life. I've since moved to a new community group which my closest friends started. A very hard decision, indeed.
There was a time as I served on the A/V team, when I let the busyness of it become my idol. I had to take a break and did so. During that time, God really showed me what it means to serve and do so in love. Over the course of our "Imagine" campaign last fall, Allan met with me and basically said he was looking to me to lead the A/V team in excellence and service. To have that put on me, along with all the projects I had going for this campaign was simply overwhelming. But I didn't do it alone; my God was the source of strength I needed and name in which I turned to for wisdom.
I look back on the years at OBU and realize how much of a baby Christian I was, having no clue as to the vastness of God's love and grace. Through much patience and love and listening, the pastors and leaders at PPBC have grown me in ways I never thought imaginable. And the exciting part is, as much wisdom and growth as I feel I've learned from them, there's still so much more to learn about our great God! There were a couple of opportunities in the past years for me to move away, but I know that God has called me to this place in this time to serve here. My job is my provision (even enabling me to buy a house about a year ago); my purpose is my ministry.
So all that is left to say is "to be continued" because as much as God has worked on me these last few years--growing me by leaps and bounds--there's certainly more in store. Thanks for reading!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
My Life: Out of the Nest (Part 4)
I was really considering hard about the University of Texas. Not wanting to go all the way to Austin, I became very interested in UT-Dallas. I really didn't want to move out and leave my mom by herself. About this time, she was seeing a gentleman she had met through my being in Boy Scouts. In January of 1997, they married! Yay! Burt has been my step-dad ever since. Of course, there were some adjustments to make that weren't always easy, but I am so grateful for him. Well my mom was planning on retiring back in Arkansas eventually, and knowing this, she wanted me to go to a school she knew of in this little town called Arkadelphia. I agreed to go visit this oh-ah-chee-ta; or is it oh-wash-it-awe...whatever. Unfortunately, the weekend I went was a few days after a tornado had wiped out half the town. I had never seen devastation like that before. I loved the campus; it was beautiful. They had an awesome new science building to boot! But I wasn't sold.
I was going to Freeman Heights (the church that put on Judgment House) quite regularly by that point. Got baptized and the whole bit. The student ministry was awesome. And they happened to be going to summer camp at Ouachita. It was during this trip that I knew I wanted to go there for sure. Had Burt not been a blessing on our lives, I doubt I could have done it. Go God!
That summer, I turned in my volunteer badge at the hospital and became a full-fledged employee--a pharmacy tech, to be precise. Remember that overbearing-ness I spoke of earlier? Yah, it carried over into this job. Wow, I look back on that and wonder how I ever stayed employed. I kept that job every summer I came home; every time I came through that door in May, just about every one looked at me and groaned. I had good relationships with a couple of employees. Heck, we even joked around a lot. Except one time, another person (who didn't like me) overheard a joke and informed the manager, who called to fire me, had it not been the pharmacist I was joking with telling him it was nothing. Anyway, it was a good job and I gained a lot of experience. If I could, I would go back and tell my manager thank you for giving me a shot when he had every reason to let me go.
August came and it was time to leave the home I had grown up in for 18 years. I remember just holding Scamper and Callie for as long as I could, crying the entire time. Burt and mom loaded me up and off we went. We arrived for freshmen move-in, arranged a couple of things, Burt shook my hand, and then there was my mom and me. So many years of going it alone, and here we were at last...a day we both were excited about yet dreaded with all our hearts. There was silence, then the words "no sense in delaying it", and we hugged and cried and hugged some more. And then they were gone and I was really on my own.
I had a roommate...all of 3 weeks. Look, you live solo and have things your way your whole life, it is pretty hard to adapt. Robbie was his name and he would wander in every night about 1 am, then call his girlfriend and talk for about an hour. He went home on the weekends. I was very dedicated to studying and starting off well, so I went to bed at reasonable hours, so this wasn't working. Since I never saw him, I left a note one morning asking if he could call his girlfriend in the lobby. He left a note in turn saying he shouldn't have to. In the meantime, I was on the rowdiest hall of Daniel South. This was the notorious slip-and-slide hall. I made a couple calls to the dorm parents and of course, I was berated for it by some in the hallway. I requested to be moved and paid the extra fee for a private room. A few weeks later, the dorm parents called me in and asked if I wanted to be an RA. So I moved again to Daniel North, a hall of mostly guys on the swim team. I enjoyed the responsibility, despite all the, uh, nudity in the hallway. LOL. We'll leave those stories for another time, perhaps.
I was an avid sports fan, never missing a football game, unless it was out of state. I wrote for the school newspaper. And of course, I studied. I'm proud to say I got a 4.0 my first semester, even with a little home sick crisis during finals. In fact, every fall I made that, but spring fever must have taken me because I made a B or two every spring. :) My sophomore year, I bought a truck (the same one I still drive today). On the way home for Thanksgiving, I was about 10 blocks from my house and had a wreck. *sigh* Also, my sophomore year, my mom and Burt moved to Searcy. I would continue going back to Garland, though, for my summer job. I lived with my sister for two summers, but she ended up moving to Searcy too, so the last summer I stayed with an old Boy Scout buddy.
About midway through the baseball season of my sophomore year, I approached the coach concerned about the lack of attention the team was being paid. There was no scorekeeper, announcer...nothing. So I asked if he'd like some help. Me and a buddy started doing it. The next year I was officially the baseball team manager. (I also got to call a few basketball games.) My junior year, I became a volunteer athletic trainer for the football team. Some of my best memories come from this part of my college tenure. The long nighs of practicing taping ankles with buddies, the long two-a-day practices that always ended up at the hospital with cramping players instead of getting to eat dinner, standing on the sidelines, and getting to go on road trips...just to name a few. I can't help but stop and smile.
I had moved to the "nicer" dorm that year, too, no longer an RA. My senior year, a buddy talked me into an apartment, which I did for one semester, but the amount of partying that went on with the people from the other school in town quickly ended that. I moved back on campus into the football dorm (coach's hall) and its community showers. Oh boy....why did I ever move off campus? But, with the friends I had on the team, it really was one of the best places I lived.
I made so great life-long friends during school. One of the most annoying people I had ever met ended up being my BFF--Rachel Elliff. We helped each other through a lot of personal issues, she and I. In fact, I didn't really allude to this before, but I was still having trouble with my self-esteem my freshman/sophomore years. Even went to the school counselor for several sessions. I was really struggling with my identity. But through Rachel, a kind family from the church I was attending, and well...God, I worked through those as best I knew how. Rachel unexpectedly didn't come back one semester and I was pretty much at a loss. But God came through and built up new friendships for me, namely Christina Overton. We too had many great times together, having met in a biblical studies class.
Getting involved in sports really helped with my confidence in that area. Not that it was easy being the baseball manager. Some of the guys were really hard on me. But I kept at it, if nothing else for Coach. The football team was not as harsh, and I even began making some friendships with guys for the first time since elementary school. During the spring break of my senior year, at a baseball game, there was a very bad injury to one of the players. Our catcher--Bryan Jones--was making a play as the runner came sliding into home. But the runner slid into Bryan's knee pushing out to the side. This tore 3 of 4 ligaments, chipped bones, and tore his meniscus. It was so bad, he was transported to Baptist in Little Rock. I flew up in my truck after the game. Bryan was very appreciative and asked me if I could stay. So I did...all week, in the hospital room. Bryan went through surgery (which I got to watch) and came back to Arkadelphia. His family was certain he would have to withdraw from school, but I suggested he move in to my room and I would do his rehab and get him to class. And so that was what we did. Bryan and I became fast friends, though as much pain as I put him through during his stretches, I have no idea how. :)
So that was me in college...you could find me pretty much in the science building or the sports venues. As I said, I attended a church there. A family "adopted" me who just happened to be the music ministers. Janie and Will Thompson. Janie somehow got me involved in handbells. I played the big ones...the really big ones. And though I was reluctant for several years, she eventually got me singing again (for the first time since elementary school) in the college ensemble.
My ability to leave home and return to school became easier about 2 years into it. Leaving Ouachita in 2001 was equally as hard as leaving home in 1997. Christina was the last person I said good-bye to and also the point when I lost it. I graduated magna cum laude and with honors. All my family--except my dad--came to see me. God had done so much in my life in those first four years of being called His child, but little did I know how much things were about to change and life become all the more challenging.
I was going to Freeman Heights (the church that put on Judgment House) quite regularly by that point. Got baptized and the whole bit. The student ministry was awesome. And they happened to be going to summer camp at Ouachita. It was during this trip that I knew I wanted to go there for sure. Had Burt not been a blessing on our lives, I doubt I could have done it. Go God!
That summer, I turned in my volunteer badge at the hospital and became a full-fledged employee--a pharmacy tech, to be precise. Remember that overbearing-ness I spoke of earlier? Yah, it carried over into this job. Wow, I look back on that and wonder how I ever stayed employed. I kept that job every summer I came home; every time I came through that door in May, just about every one looked at me and groaned. I had good relationships with a couple of employees. Heck, we even joked around a lot. Except one time, another person (who didn't like me) overheard a joke and informed the manager, who called to fire me, had it not been the pharmacist I was joking with telling him it was nothing. Anyway, it was a good job and I gained a lot of experience. If I could, I would go back and tell my manager thank you for giving me a shot when he had every reason to let me go.
August came and it was time to leave the home I had grown up in for 18 years. I remember just holding Scamper and Callie for as long as I could, crying the entire time. Burt and mom loaded me up and off we went. We arrived for freshmen move-in, arranged a couple of things, Burt shook my hand, and then there was my mom and me. So many years of going it alone, and here we were at last...a day we both were excited about yet dreaded with all our hearts. There was silence, then the words "no sense in delaying it", and we hugged and cried and hugged some more. And then they were gone and I was really on my own.
I had a roommate...all of 3 weeks. Look, you live solo and have things your way your whole life, it is pretty hard to adapt. Robbie was his name and he would wander in every night about 1 am, then call his girlfriend and talk for about an hour. He went home on the weekends. I was very dedicated to studying and starting off well, so I went to bed at reasonable hours, so this wasn't working. Since I never saw him, I left a note one morning asking if he could call his girlfriend in the lobby. He left a note in turn saying he shouldn't have to. In the meantime, I was on the rowdiest hall of Daniel South. This was the notorious slip-and-slide hall. I made a couple calls to the dorm parents and of course, I was berated for it by some in the hallway. I requested to be moved and paid the extra fee for a private room. A few weeks later, the dorm parents called me in and asked if I wanted to be an RA. So I moved again to Daniel North, a hall of mostly guys on the swim team. I enjoyed the responsibility, despite all the, uh, nudity in the hallway. LOL. We'll leave those stories for another time, perhaps.
I was an avid sports fan, never missing a football game, unless it was out of state. I wrote for the school newspaper. And of course, I studied. I'm proud to say I got a 4.0 my first semester, even with a little home sick crisis during finals. In fact, every fall I made that, but spring fever must have taken me because I made a B or two every spring. :) My sophomore year, I bought a truck (the same one I still drive today). On the way home for Thanksgiving, I was about 10 blocks from my house and had a wreck. *sigh* Also, my sophomore year, my mom and Burt moved to Searcy. I would continue going back to Garland, though, for my summer job. I lived with my sister for two summers, but she ended up moving to Searcy too, so the last summer I stayed with an old Boy Scout buddy.
About midway through the baseball season of my sophomore year, I approached the coach concerned about the lack of attention the team was being paid. There was no scorekeeper, announcer...nothing. So I asked if he'd like some help. Me and a buddy started doing it. The next year I was officially the baseball team manager. (I also got to call a few basketball games.) My junior year, I became a volunteer athletic trainer for the football team. Some of my best memories come from this part of my college tenure. The long nighs of practicing taping ankles with buddies, the long two-a-day practices that always ended up at the hospital with cramping players instead of getting to eat dinner, standing on the sidelines, and getting to go on road trips...just to name a few. I can't help but stop and smile.
I had moved to the "nicer" dorm that year, too, no longer an RA. My senior year, a buddy talked me into an apartment, which I did for one semester, but the amount of partying that went on with the people from the other school in town quickly ended that. I moved back on campus into the football dorm (coach's hall) and its community showers. Oh boy....why did I ever move off campus? But, with the friends I had on the team, it really was one of the best places I lived.
I made so great life-long friends during school. One of the most annoying people I had ever met ended up being my BFF--Rachel Elliff. We helped each other through a lot of personal issues, she and I. In fact, I didn't really allude to this before, but I was still having trouble with my self-esteem my freshman/sophomore years. Even went to the school counselor for several sessions. I was really struggling with my identity. But through Rachel, a kind family from the church I was attending, and well...God, I worked through those as best I knew how. Rachel unexpectedly didn't come back one semester and I was pretty much at a loss. But God came through and built up new friendships for me, namely Christina Overton. We too had many great times together, having met in a biblical studies class.
Getting involved in sports really helped with my confidence in that area. Not that it was easy being the baseball manager. Some of the guys were really hard on me. But I kept at it, if nothing else for Coach. The football team was not as harsh, and I even began making some friendships with guys for the first time since elementary school. During the spring break of my senior year, at a baseball game, there was a very bad injury to one of the players. Our catcher--Bryan Jones--was making a play as the runner came sliding into home. But the runner slid into Bryan's knee pushing out to the side. This tore 3 of 4 ligaments, chipped bones, and tore his meniscus. It was so bad, he was transported to Baptist in Little Rock. I flew up in my truck after the game. Bryan was very appreciative and asked me if I could stay. So I did...all week, in the hospital room. Bryan went through surgery (which I got to watch) and came back to Arkadelphia. His family was certain he would have to withdraw from school, but I suggested he move in to my room and I would do his rehab and get him to class. And so that was what we did. Bryan and I became fast friends, though as much pain as I put him through during his stretches, I have no idea how. :)
So that was me in college...you could find me pretty much in the science building or the sports venues. As I said, I attended a church there. A family "adopted" me who just happened to be the music ministers. Janie and Will Thompson. Janie somehow got me involved in handbells. I played the big ones...the really big ones. And though I was reluctant for several years, she eventually got me singing again (for the first time since elementary school) in the college ensemble.
My ability to leave home and return to school became easier about 2 years into it. Leaving Ouachita in 2001 was equally as hard as leaving home in 1997. Christina was the last person I said good-bye to and also the point when I lost it. I graduated magna cum laude and with honors. All my family--except my dad--came to see me. God had done so much in my life in those first four years of being called His child, but little did I know how much things were about to change and life become all the more challenging.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Great Blackboard Crash of 09
We interrupt this program to bring you this disturbing story that is still unfolding...
So I teach some online courses in addition to my administrative duties at PTC. They are actually "hybrid" science courses, with the lecture part online and lab still meeting in person. Last year, I developed, wrote, and led new sections of chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology I. The system PTC uses is called Blackboard. It's okay. Some of it is not very intuitive, especially when it comes to making exams. In fact, it takes me hours to half-a-day to write a science exam. Over the Christmas break, I started writing my third course, A&P II. But before I got far, they announced that Blackboard would be down for scheduled upgrades.
When it came back in early January, I resumed working. But then one day last week, I couldn't log on. I emailed the guys and a short time later an announcement was issued about a database error. Another instructor called me and was like "last time this happened, we lost data". I got a little worried. I back up my files as much as I can. But like I said, the program is not entirely intuitive. Some files--and exams--have to be made in Blackboard and can't be pulled out. Those also happen to be the ones that take the longest to create.
A couple of days rolled by with no update and still no access. I didn't want to be "that guy" that emailed and bothered them, but I did...and asked how bad it was and should I start re-writing things. The response was "when was the last time you created new content?" I know just enough about computing and servers for that to be a dangerous question. Clearly the question is saying: we are trying to restore directly from when it went down but cannot, so we are having to go to a backup point. Normal procedure is to backup server data nightly at an off-site location. I eventually found out, the last good backup was from Dec. 29. So pretty much everything I did over the break would be wiped out. Well then the date went further back to Dec. 17, wiping out more work I had done. Thankfully, you can role over courses from a previous semester, so two of my three would be saved. Oh wait...
Saturday comes and an email is sent out. Blackboard is back up but all attempts to restore data failed. You have your course shells but they are blank. We won't turn Blackboard on for students until noon Tuesday, rather than midnight to give you a chance to get some content up.
Ohhhhhh @#$%@!!!!!!
Sunday evening and all day Monday I feverishly worked until my shoulders ached, my wrists and fingers were numb, and my eyes were cross to get some beginning material up for my three classes that had been wiped away. At 11:00 am on Tuesday, I got that much done. I need to do more work...a lot more, obviously, but I'm so burned out, I haven't done a lick since. And as far as those items I couldn't back up...creating them in Word this time and c&p'ing them. Exams...using an external exam-maker so that the files are on my computer.
Last I heard, from the instructor forums, teachers were jumping from the tallest building on PTC and stoic, unemotional types are feverishly working through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Unfortunately, my building is only one story. Would only break a limb at best and I need it to keep typing... /sarcasm
So I teach some online courses in addition to my administrative duties at PTC. They are actually "hybrid" science courses, with the lecture part online and lab still meeting in person. Last year, I developed, wrote, and led new sections of chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology I. The system PTC uses is called Blackboard. It's okay. Some of it is not very intuitive, especially when it comes to making exams. In fact, it takes me hours to half-a-day to write a science exam. Over the Christmas break, I started writing my third course, A&P II. But before I got far, they announced that Blackboard would be down for scheduled upgrades.
When it came back in early January, I resumed working. But then one day last week, I couldn't log on. I emailed the guys and a short time later an announcement was issued about a database error. Another instructor called me and was like "last time this happened, we lost data". I got a little worried. I back up my files as much as I can. But like I said, the program is not entirely intuitive. Some files--and exams--have to be made in Blackboard and can't be pulled out. Those also happen to be the ones that take the longest to create.
A couple of days rolled by with no update and still no access. I didn't want to be "that guy" that emailed and bothered them, but I did...and asked how bad it was and should I start re-writing things. The response was "when was the last time you created new content?" I know just enough about computing and servers for that to be a dangerous question. Clearly the question is saying: we are trying to restore directly from when it went down but cannot, so we are having to go to a backup point. Normal procedure is to backup server data nightly at an off-site location. I eventually found out, the last good backup was from Dec. 29. So pretty much everything I did over the break would be wiped out. Well then the date went further back to Dec. 17, wiping out more work I had done. Thankfully, you can role over courses from a previous semester, so two of my three would be saved. Oh wait...
Saturday comes and an email is sent out. Blackboard is back up but all attempts to restore data failed. You have your course shells but they are blank. We won't turn Blackboard on for students until noon Tuesday, rather than midnight to give you a chance to get some content up.
Ohhhhhh @#$%@!!!!!!
Sunday evening and all day Monday I feverishly worked until my shoulders ached, my wrists and fingers were numb, and my eyes were cross to get some beginning material up for my three classes that had been wiped away. At 11:00 am on Tuesday, I got that much done. I need to do more work...a lot more, obviously, but I'm so burned out, I haven't done a lick since. And as far as those items I couldn't back up...creating them in Word this time and c&p'ing them. Exams...using an external exam-maker so that the files are on my computer.
Last I heard, from the instructor forums, teachers were jumping from the tallest building on PTC and stoic, unemotional types are feverishly working through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Unfortunately, my building is only one story. Would only break a limb at best and I need it to keep typing... /sarcasm
Monday, January 19, 2009
My Life: High School (Part 3)
High school rolled around. I went to North Garland High School, which was within short walking distance, just past my old elementary school. I was also promoted into Boy Scouts, but more on that later. In high school, I tried my hand at acting again. But I just don't think it was my calling. And it doesn't help that the drama teacher hated me. She would openly make fun of me in front of the class. I'm not just saying it like that because I'm bitter...I'm dead serious. For three years I tried that and finally had enough. I remember rehearsing one morning, and as usual she left the drama room, leaving the class to ourselves. This particular day the students turned the lights off and began playing hide and seek in the dark. Suddenly, the lights came up and a huge object came flying at my face, busting my nose. Blood gushed down my arms as I tried to stench the flow, running to the clinic. As the nurse tended to me, the drama instructor came in and yelled at ME(!!!) for fooling around and making it so she could never trust a class again. She had gotten reports that I was running down the hall and partaking in the sortie. The nurse kicked her out, and that was the end of my acting career.
Most of my friends by this point--due to my low self-esteem--were girls. But by the end of my high school tenure, that fell apart too. Two particular girls, hormonal as they were, could not stand each other and manipulated me through deceit and lies. I ended up breaking off contact with one of them. She tried to make me touch her at a movie, explaining how lonely she was. I know God was guarding my innocence then. I later befriended a wonderful person named Amanda. We became best friends by senior year and she even asked me to the prom! We had a mock casino at prom and together, Amanda and I had enough "money" to win a trip to New York, which we took. (Her brother went with us to "save face".) My senior year, I was a huge school spirit kind of guy. In fact, I was nominated for best school spirit! I graduated 18 of 300.
As far as academics, I was above average. Can't say I really studied, but if I had, I'm sure I would have been top 10 of my class. I buckled down my senior year though. And by the way, I waited until then to take the dreaded PE credits. Ha ha. I also devoted a lot of my academics to medical classes. They had a unique program where students could spend half a day observing at a hospital. I did that for two years, certain I was headed for medical school one day. To further my experience, I began to volunteer at the local hospital. The same hospital, in fact, where I was born. There was a nurse who, I found out, worked in labor and delivery the year I was born (she didn't remember me =P).
Outside of school, as I said, I was in Boy Scouts. Troop 57. Being the runt is not easy. In fact, since this story is getting long, let me just say that it became a knockout drag fight when it came time to go to the meeting each week or camping each month. My mom and I would argue, but she kept making me go. I progressed through the first couple of ranks slowly. I tried to get a few modest leadership positions (required for the upper ranks) but never got elected. After months and months the torment and mental suffering, my mom experienced it first-hand. We were leaving from the meeting one night when a boy yelled out across the parking lot--with my mom beside me--"why don't you do this troop a favor and quit!" My mom yelled back at him and finally she saw what I was going through! We started visiting around because she was determined to keep me involved. I ended up joining Troop 884. I was accepted there, which is always what I've been longing for. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to handle it. I became arrogant, headstrong, and developed a "my way is the only way" attitude. But patient leaders grew me in that area. I rose in the ranks and got elected leadership positions. I developed great friendships, some of which I still keep (though distantly) today. The leaders--like Bill Bliss, Robert Divelbiss, and Ron Wood--are some of my biggest influences in who I am today. I even went on three backpacking expeditions, leading one of them! (As me for my journals sometime.) I obtained Eagle Scout in 1996 and even completed the Eagle Palms before I turned 18. Not a lot of people in my life now know about this side of me, but yah, I can be quite the outdoorsman when I want. :)
As far as church activities, those didn't go so well either for most of my high school years. But it ended in the best possible way! The church I was attending had a huge youth group. But it was more of a fashion show than anything else. I ended up making my schedule at the hospital so I worked Sunday mornings, just to avoid having to go. But the pain of my dad was still very real and very fresh, even a few years after it had happened. This other church in town sponsored a "Judgment House" every Halloween. It was a HUGE production; not like a hell house. My senior year (1996) I wanted to help out with it, so I became a guide that took audiences through. The other adult staff started talking to me and investing in me. They answered questions I had that I never felt able to ask. I remember reading John and got to 20:29, I think it was. Blessed are those who believe without seeing. As you can imagine, I was having a hard time reconciling my circumstances with faith in Christ. But pull on me God did, and on Halloween night, 1996, I gave my life to Christ. And the healing of the pain from my dad and all other tough circumstances began.
Most of my friends by this point--due to my low self-esteem--were girls. But by the end of my high school tenure, that fell apart too. Two particular girls, hormonal as they were, could not stand each other and manipulated me through deceit and lies. I ended up breaking off contact with one of them. She tried to make me touch her at a movie, explaining how lonely she was. I know God was guarding my innocence then. I later befriended a wonderful person named Amanda. We became best friends by senior year and she even asked me to the prom! We had a mock casino at prom and together, Amanda and I had enough "money" to win a trip to New York, which we took. (Her brother went with us to "save face".) My senior year, I was a huge school spirit kind of guy. In fact, I was nominated for best school spirit! I graduated 18 of 300.
As far as academics, I was above average. Can't say I really studied, but if I had, I'm sure I would have been top 10 of my class. I buckled down my senior year though. And by the way, I waited until then to take the dreaded PE credits. Ha ha. I also devoted a lot of my academics to medical classes. They had a unique program where students could spend half a day observing at a hospital. I did that for two years, certain I was headed for medical school one day. To further my experience, I began to volunteer at the local hospital. The same hospital, in fact, where I was born. There was a nurse who, I found out, worked in labor and delivery the year I was born (she didn't remember me =P).
Outside of school, as I said, I was in Boy Scouts. Troop 57. Being the runt is not easy. In fact, since this story is getting long, let me just say that it became a knockout drag fight when it came time to go to the meeting each week or camping each month. My mom and I would argue, but she kept making me go. I progressed through the first couple of ranks slowly. I tried to get a few modest leadership positions (required for the upper ranks) but never got elected. After months and months the torment and mental suffering, my mom experienced it first-hand. We were leaving from the meeting one night when a boy yelled out across the parking lot--with my mom beside me--"why don't you do this troop a favor and quit!" My mom yelled back at him and finally she saw what I was going through! We started visiting around because she was determined to keep me involved. I ended up joining Troop 884. I was accepted there, which is always what I've been longing for. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to handle it. I became arrogant, headstrong, and developed a "my way is the only way" attitude. But patient leaders grew me in that area. I rose in the ranks and got elected leadership positions. I developed great friendships, some of which I still keep (though distantly) today. The leaders--like Bill Bliss, Robert Divelbiss, and Ron Wood--are some of my biggest influences in who I am today. I even went on three backpacking expeditions, leading one of them! (As me for my journals sometime.) I obtained Eagle Scout in 1996 and even completed the Eagle Palms before I turned 18. Not a lot of people in my life now know about this side of me, but yah, I can be quite the outdoorsman when I want. :)
As far as church activities, those didn't go so well either for most of my high school years. But it ended in the best possible way! The church I was attending had a huge youth group. But it was more of a fashion show than anything else. I ended up making my schedule at the hospital so I worked Sunday mornings, just to avoid having to go. But the pain of my dad was still very real and very fresh, even a few years after it had happened. This other church in town sponsored a "Judgment House" every Halloween. It was a HUGE production; not like a hell house. My senior year (1996) I wanted to help out with it, so I became a guide that took audiences through. The other adult staff started talking to me and investing in me. They answered questions I had that I never felt able to ask. I remember reading John and got to 20:29, I think it was. Blessed are those who believe without seeing. As you can imagine, I was having a hard time reconciling my circumstances with faith in Christ. But pull on me God did, and on Halloween night, 1996, I gave my life to Christ. And the healing of the pain from my dad and all other tough circumstances began.
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Life: Miserable Middle School (Part 2)
Middle school sucked. I mean, really. My two friends from elementary abandoned me. One got into the "gotta be cool" stuff and the other went emo. Okay, there wasn't the term "emo" back then, but that's what it was in today's context. I was picked on a lot because...well, I was a late bloomer. And to top it off, the story I'm about to tell you happened during those years. But there was one brilliant light in that time and I will never forget her. Mrs. Gail Baugher (rhymes with locker). She was my 6th grade English teacher and an angel sent by God for me. Besides teaching me my helping verbs (which I still remember her jingle today), she was there for me in personal struggles I faced. She let me start a club called "Kids for Saving the Earth". We started a paper recycling program. I thought it would be fun to count the number of pages we got. I don't know why, but we did! Anyway, Mrs. Baugher...well, I can't say enough praise about her.
Middle school is where I started developing my science aptitude. And it wasn't without notice...by the other kids I mean. AKA, I was a nerd. I remember running out of class one time crying because the other students were making fun of me for asking so many questions. I also had given up on choir and wanted to try band. But we made one of the last "interest" meetings so my top picks for instruments were already full. I ended up playing the clarinet. My 7th grade year, the band director asked if I wanted to be last chair symphonic or first chair concert band, so I chose concert. My 8th grade year I was in symphonic. But then "marching band" started to loom ahead and I didn't want to do that, so that was my musical instrument stint. I really wish I had just stuck with choir. I weaseled my way out of taking PE--something that terrified me--by volunteering to fill the building's coke machines as PE credit. My 8th grade year, they didn't let me do it again, so I tried to be a team manager for athletics. That plan backfired, because even though I did equipment stuff, the coach still made me dress out. I was mortified the day I walked into the locker room during the "athletic" period. Yes, more making fun of me. :(
Around about that time, my dad re-married. She has a daughter, Kimberly. It was his weekend for my visit and when I came over Kim told me they were married! They just went down to the JotP and did it, I guess. I liked his new wife well enough, I suppose, especially before they got married. But for some reason, after they got married, she got it in her mind that I was out to break them up and get my parents back together. (I wouldn't know this for many, many years.) It was awkward and I started withdrawing when I stayed with my dad. And it got really bad. I would, in time, become completely silent the entire weekend, only talking to Kimberly. And soon enough, every visit led to them yelling and fighting the entire time I was there. So I became more distant and they fought more and on and on. And whereas my dad used to come into mom's house when he came to pick me up, that degenerated into just standing at the door, then sending Kim to the door, then just honking. That is how paranoid this woman became.
Finally, the "S hit the F" one weekend and she told my dad that it was either me or her (also information I found out much later). My dad had time to grab his boots and me and get out of the house. He was going to take me to my grandma's for the remainder of the weekend, but I wanted to be taken to my sister's. And that was the last time I saw my dad on any "official" terms.
For the remainder of my time in Garland, my dad would ever-so-often call me from work (he worked on phone lines) or swing by after school if he was in the area on a job. I have regularly gotten a birthday card and Christmas card. He gave me some money regularly in college, too. All in secret. All those comments I made about "finding out much later?"...it wasn't until a summer break in college that I learned the circumstance of that day and what led to it. He told me he didn't want to grow old alone and that he knew one day I would grow up and be out of the house, so he had to make a choice. It would not be until my late 20's when I finally, completely reconciled myself to what happened that day.
So as not to end on a low note, one positive did come out of that. My mom took me to the pound soon after that day and that is when I got Scamper! He has been my comfort and closest companion for 17 years. Some people just don't get peoples' attachment to pets, but I hope you may see a little insight into mine. He's my most precious gift in this world!
Middle school is where I started developing my science aptitude. And it wasn't without notice...by the other kids I mean. AKA, I was a nerd. I remember running out of class one time crying because the other students were making fun of me for asking so many questions. I also had given up on choir and wanted to try band. But we made one of the last "interest" meetings so my top picks for instruments were already full. I ended up playing the clarinet. My 7th grade year, the band director asked if I wanted to be last chair symphonic or first chair concert band, so I chose concert. My 8th grade year I was in symphonic. But then "marching band" started to loom ahead and I didn't want to do that, so that was my musical instrument stint. I really wish I had just stuck with choir. I weaseled my way out of taking PE--something that terrified me--by volunteering to fill the building's coke machines as PE credit. My 8th grade year, they didn't let me do it again, so I tried to be a team manager for athletics. That plan backfired, because even though I did equipment stuff, the coach still made me dress out. I was mortified the day I walked into the locker room during the "athletic" period. Yes, more making fun of me. :(
Around about that time, my dad re-married. She has a daughter, Kimberly. It was his weekend for my visit and when I came over Kim told me they were married! They just went down to the JotP and did it, I guess. I liked his new wife well enough, I suppose, especially before they got married. But for some reason, after they got married, she got it in her mind that I was out to break them up and get my parents back together. (I wouldn't know this for many, many years.) It was awkward and I started withdrawing when I stayed with my dad. And it got really bad. I would, in time, become completely silent the entire weekend, only talking to Kimberly. And soon enough, every visit led to them yelling and fighting the entire time I was there. So I became more distant and they fought more and on and on. And whereas my dad used to come into mom's house when he came to pick me up, that degenerated into just standing at the door, then sending Kim to the door, then just honking. That is how paranoid this woman became.
Finally, the "S hit the F" one weekend and she told my dad that it was either me or her (also information I found out much later). My dad had time to grab his boots and me and get out of the house. He was going to take me to my grandma's for the remainder of the weekend, but I wanted to be taken to my sister's. And that was the last time I saw my dad on any "official" terms.
For the remainder of my time in Garland, my dad would ever-so-often call me from work (he worked on phone lines) or swing by after school if he was in the area on a job. I have regularly gotten a birthday card and Christmas card. He gave me some money regularly in college, too. All in secret. All those comments I made about "finding out much later?"...it wasn't until a summer break in college that I learned the circumstance of that day and what led to it. He told me he didn't want to grow old alone and that he knew one day I would grow up and be out of the house, so he had to make a choice. It would not be until my late 20's when I finally, completely reconciled myself to what happened that day.
So as not to end on a low note, one positive did come out of that. My mom took me to the pound soon after that day and that is when I got Scamper! He has been my comfort and closest companion for 17 years. Some people just don't get peoples' attachment to pets, but I hope you may see a little insight into mine. He's my most precious gift in this world!
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