This is a little bit of a movie review and a little bit of reflection. "Prince Caspian" was a cinematic success, in my opinion. It didn't feel as epic as its predecessor, but that's actually the nature of the books. LWW is the hallmark story. There are still good lessons in Caspian, though. For one, I see a "faith is believing without seeing" message. None of Lucy's siblings believed her when she said she saw a glimpse of Aslan. So they went about trying to solve the problems of Narnia on their own. After suffering a defeat, Peter sends off Lucy to find Aslan as they hold of the enemy with their remaining forces. Hmmm, how similar to us when we try to solve our own problems until we are defeating and as a last resort, cry out to God.
Second message: waiting on God. Peter wanted to take the fight to the Telmarines and even said "we've waited on Aslan long enough." Then they were defeated and several Narnians lost their lives. If he had waited on Aslan (who later told them nothing happens the way it has before) and believed he would come, how could the story have been different?
I read one review that didn't like how the message depicted that making wrong choices can easily be undone, referring to Lucy's healing potion or Aslan's breath to restore terminal injuries. But I don't prefer to look at it that way. There were consequences to the poor decisions, but the potion sort of represents grace and restoration. Well, Lucy and Edmund have one more adventure in Narnia, but Peter and Susan's time is over. They've learned all they can. Peter, in particular, struck me on a personal level. At the beginning of the story, he was confused and resentful at not going back to Narnia, having lived a lifetime as High King. He was still living in the "fantasy" world. In the end, he recognized the need to live in his own "reality" (though the movie didn't do a great job at resolving that internal conflict).
I can relate because I too wish I could live my fantasy vision for my life. As the credits rolled, I sympathized with Peter because as the story ended it was back to reality for me too. Sometimes I just really like to get lost in stories, particularly in the stressful season of life I'm in. But God has a purpose for everything. My work--though my fantasy would be to not have it--provides my needs, enables me to give, and has the flexibility for me to work often on ministry projects for church. We can't forget to live and God has promised that life would be filled to overflowing for those who follow Him. Now that's a pretty exciting story to be a part of.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
The secret word is: Conflict. When you hear it, scream real loud!
I seem to be writing more negative posts lately, and I don't really like that, but the truth is, there's been a lot of it lately. It seems it is just that season of my life. We all have them from time to time. I'm grateful for my relationship with God, who enables me to get through these turbulent times. It makes me realize a couple things. One, I don't know how people who don't know God get through difficult situations with no hope for anything else but what is here. Two, knowing God gives me perspective on my troubles--some of it just really doesn't matter.
I think I can describe my little valley in life in one word: conflict. There's lots of it. I had that work conflict dealing with the unscheduled course. (Just an aside here, I have a great boss. She really went to bat for me and settled the situation.) I actually had another work conflict this week. The short of it is, another instructor called me about 15 minutes after I concluded my final exam. She was telling me students were in her office, worried about their grades and she would like to have them. Um, I just left the test! I almost snapped on her, but ended up professionally telling her how frustrated I was that I was getting this call and that I felt like I was being taken advantage of just because I work closely with her. It was just completely inappropriate to do that to me.
Then there was this little snippet regarding a lunch meeting earlier this week. Silly, really, that it came to what it did, but I get a little of where my friend was coming from, even though it was never my intention to cause an intrusion. This and those work conflicts are examples of the things that really don't matter in the big scheme of thing. God has really taught me through experiences like this to resolve them and move on.
There's the emotional conflict. I'm not sure how much I want to just put out there on this blog, but let's just say that to this day I regret a decision I made when a friend came to me to talk about some personal matters. I put on the mask that I always do when I'm scared and I, well, blew it. It sucks and it hurts.
There's the mental conflict. This actually has to do with something that is very dear to me. That's my community group. Ever since we did Stations of the Cross for Easter, I've had a steadily increase discontent. It is evidenced by the fact that when things come up, I don't try to re-arrange my schedule like I would before. There has really been a lack of depth for a while, mainly because of what the group has become. It's an invite-anyone, open-door meeting. Like a house church. That is a needed avenue for people, but as my one source of re-energizing each week, it is not what I need. I'm not comfortable sharing much due to the constant flow of people, and I'm afraid to talk about anything past the "basics" because I'm afraid it won't make sense. The focus has become serving spiritual "milk" and that's great for those who need it! But that's not my place anymore. (More conflict: I get really irritated when I hear ideas for studies that include "what to do about laziness." Get off your #$@, that's what you do!) The people that I have grown with, love, and confide in have started another group. I really want to go with them, but the problem is, it's all couples there. That's not going to do me any good either, if everything is couples-focused. It's not a question of whether I feel welcome, but of relevancy. This is a hard one to deal with. I have no sense of direction.
I'm also in spiritual conflict. Well, I guess that's really the underlying cause of all the conflict I'm having. In the past, I can tell that the quicker I become short with people, the farther I've gotten from God. This time is no exception. I used to have a pretty good devotional regime; but then I kept sleeping in a little longer and got out of it. And for some reason, it doesn't occur to me to pray for the kinds of conflicts that I've listed here. So I become less patient, more bottled up, and less likely to pray still. Yes, LESS likely. It's a paradox that I don't know how to shake. I know that to get back on the right track, I need to spend time with God. But then I'm so pissed about everything I'm dealing with, I don't want to.
Well, enough rambling. Please pray for my family, too. My uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer and likely doesn't have long. No surprise, as he has heavily smoked all his life. Pray for painless time and for the ones who are mourning. It breaks my heart to hear/see my mom cry. In the world of good news, my nephews are graduating from high school. Congrats Justin and Garrett!
I think I can describe my little valley in life in one word: conflict. There's lots of it. I had that work conflict dealing with the unscheduled course. (Just an aside here, I have a great boss. She really went to bat for me and settled the situation.) I actually had another work conflict this week. The short of it is, another instructor called me about 15 minutes after I concluded my final exam. She was telling me students were in her office, worried about their grades and she would like to have them. Um, I just left the test! I almost snapped on her, but ended up professionally telling her how frustrated I was that I was getting this call and that I felt like I was being taken advantage of just because I work closely with her. It was just completely inappropriate to do that to me.
Then there was this little snippet regarding a lunch meeting earlier this week. Silly, really, that it came to what it did, but I get a little of where my friend was coming from, even though it was never my intention to cause an intrusion. This and those work conflicts are examples of the things that really don't matter in the big scheme of thing. God has really taught me through experiences like this to resolve them and move on.
There's the emotional conflict. I'm not sure how much I want to just put out there on this blog, but let's just say that to this day I regret a decision I made when a friend came to me to talk about some personal matters. I put on the mask that I always do when I'm scared and I, well, blew it. It sucks and it hurts.
There's the mental conflict. This actually has to do with something that is very dear to me. That's my community group. Ever since we did Stations of the Cross for Easter, I've had a steadily increase discontent. It is evidenced by the fact that when things come up, I don't try to re-arrange my schedule like I would before. There has really been a lack of depth for a while, mainly because of what the group has become. It's an invite-anyone, open-door meeting. Like a house church. That is a needed avenue for people, but as my one source of re-energizing each week, it is not what I need. I'm not comfortable sharing much due to the constant flow of people, and I'm afraid to talk about anything past the "basics" because I'm afraid it won't make sense. The focus has become serving spiritual "milk" and that's great for those who need it! But that's not my place anymore. (More conflict: I get really irritated when I hear ideas for studies that include "what to do about laziness." Get off your #$@, that's what you do!) The people that I have grown with, love, and confide in have started another group. I really want to go with them, but the problem is, it's all couples there. That's not going to do me any good either, if everything is couples-focused. It's not a question of whether I feel welcome, but of relevancy. This is a hard one to deal with. I have no sense of direction.
I'm also in spiritual conflict. Well, I guess that's really the underlying cause of all the conflict I'm having. In the past, I can tell that the quicker I become short with people, the farther I've gotten from God. This time is no exception. I used to have a pretty good devotional regime; but then I kept sleeping in a little longer and got out of it. And for some reason, it doesn't occur to me to pray for the kinds of conflicts that I've listed here. So I become less patient, more bottled up, and less likely to pray still. Yes, LESS likely. It's a paradox that I don't know how to shake. I know that to get back on the right track, I need to spend time with God. But then I'm so pissed about everything I'm dealing with, I don't want to.
Well, enough rambling. Please pray for my family, too. My uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer and likely doesn't have long. No surprise, as he has heavily smoked all his life. Pray for painless time and for the ones who are mourning. It breaks my heart to hear/see my mom cry. In the world of good news, my nephews are graduating from high school. Congrats Justin and Garrett!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Have a Nice Day, Unless You Made Other Plans
Weird title, huh? I actually saw that on a church sign this morning. It doesn't really make sense. Who plans to not have a nice day? Sometimes bad days just happen. Which leads me to a little story of work. I don't plan to have bad days at work. Well recently a rather important schedule conflict came to my attention for a handful of students. They needed to take a course that we weren't offering in the first summer term, but if they didn't get it, they would not be able to progress to their next semester. Long story short, we worked very hard to accomodate these students. At first, I suggested that the school extend their deadline for progression, but there were unavoidable issues with that so it was nixed. So a 4-week course was definitely needed. Problem 2: no instructor is available. The only person is the one who teaches the online version, but the school does not do 4-week onlines. Shorten the story again: we end up creating a 4-week online course just for these students. They are agreeable. Good to go. Right?
Wrong. To this point, I have been given the berth to work out a solution. None of the higher administrators were involved. So I thought. The head of the school heard bits and pieces; just enough to have concern, mainly that the students were being forced into a situation where they may fail. So now I'm stressing pretty good, and pretty upset. I don't take work personally most of the time, but after putting SO MUCH into this problem, it was a little hard not to. Especially since we had an agreeable, positive solution and now it was turned around on me negatively. Now I have a meeting with the head of the school and my boss...Great. I'm psyching myself up to go in assertive and strong for the way I handled it. My boss backs me up. We'll see how it goes....
Wrong. To this point, I have been given the berth to work out a solution. None of the higher administrators were involved. So I thought. The head of the school heard bits and pieces; just enough to have concern, mainly that the students were being forced into a situation where they may fail. So now I'm stressing pretty good, and pretty upset. I don't take work personally most of the time, but after putting SO MUCH into this problem, it was a little hard not to. Especially since we had an agreeable, positive solution and now it was turned around on me negatively. Now I have a meeting with the head of the school and my boss...Great. I'm psyching myself up to go in assertive and strong for the way I handled it. My boss backs me up. We'll see how it goes....
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
My Story of Purity
Our student ministry has been doing a 4-week study entitled "Best Sex Ever." Greg Kelley, our student pastor, has done a great job keeping the topic of sex light-hearted, but informative and challenging. There have been no stones left unturned. This has not been the typical "church talk" about sex. He has gotten into some gritty details on things that even the Bible is silent about. But the Bible isn't silent on God's plan for sex and why he limits it to marriage in order to prevent the pain and damage it causes in the wrong setting.
Tomorrow concludes the series and he has asked me to speak on my journey of purity. This is the transcript of the talk I'm giving.
So Greg and I were sitting at Taco Bell one night discussing this series and I casually mentioned how rewarding it has been to have waited. I know I don’t look it, but I’m going to be 30 years old this year. And I am living proof that it is possible to wait. I’m not saying it is always easy, but it is possible. And it has everything to do with what you fill your mind up with. So I’m going to share some experiences, offer some advice, and remind you of some verses that will help you in this journey.
You know, I can recall back in high school one of my best friends in class one day looking completely upset. I asked her what was wrong and she said she did something that she was going to go to hell for. Turned out, she had sex that weekend. And the guilt was pretty apparent. Well, for a time. We hung out a lot and I remember going to the movie one day and she began to hold my hand—mind you we were just friends—then she started shifting my hand toward her. It was very uncomfortable and I pulled back my hand. She told me she was very lonely and needed me to touch her. Looking back on that, she had tasted the sweet flavor of sex, but in her guilt and confusion, she had come to equate her worth with her physical emotions. In the end, I had to break off the friendship because it was damaging. That’s a radical step that I had to take in order to protect myself.
Who we let be closest to us is vital to our own health. And it’s really because high school is a time when we really start developing our values and beliefs. I saw a lot of PDA and heard a lot of talk that really left me asking myself “why does this matter so much?” Somewhere along the way society has taught us that love is equivalent to sex. If God is love, someone who doesn’t know God will equate love with something else. In fact, I read a statistic that said some 80% of prom attendees will engage in sexual activity. That’s staggering! So if I want my values, my beliefs, to be founded in God’s love which is eternal, I have to make the conscious decision to not make the physical aspect important. To not make it a big deal. And that is a day-by-day, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision. Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
I really don’t think we do ourselves any favors by focusing on an exclusive relationship with another person while in high school. In a time when you are developing your own faith, your own relationship with God, it is too distracting to try and focus on another person too. It just opens the door to temptation because your attention is divided. And until we build maturity in healthy relationship with God and other people, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be exclusive to someone. Now I’m not saying don’t date. By all means, go on dates our outings or whatever you want to call them. Guys, gain experience in how to treat a woman. Ladies, learn how a man is supposed to treat you. As you do, guard yourselves on how much personal information you share. If you give yourself fully on the emotional level at this stage in your life, the only place left to go after that wears out is giving yourself physically. That’s another guard you can put in place. So when I say don’t be “exclusive” I mean when you are going out, go with a group of friends. This will ensure accountability and will close the door to temptation. You have no business being alone; if you are, that’s removing the final hurdle to engaging in sexual activity.
So instead, focus your life on building up your character, your values, your education, your faith. That way you will be ready for the next stage of your life. Marriage—and sex for that matter—is about putting the other person’s needs before yours. So how can you possible do that when your own identity is still being forged? Enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Choose to not make physical intimacy important. Choose to focus on building yourself up from the inside.
College rolled around and man, were the temptations prevalent. There were periods of time it was very difficult to even avoid situations where sex was blaring at me. Yes, even at a Christian college. I was an RA and had to do periodic room checks for cleanliness. Many rooms had porn in the form of videos and magazines, with no attempt to hide them. It’s a destructive, double standard to view that stuff. And the thing is porn will only make you feel good for a short time. Aside from it not having anything to do with real life, it’s a temporary fix. When I worked at the crime lab, we had a “rule” about meth labs that said they weren’t really a meth lab unless there was porn and Mountain Dew. Occasionally, officers would watch that junk as I did my job, claiming they were “looking for evidence.” There are so many things like that that I’ve seen in my 20’s…I wish I could un-see them because whether I consciously allow it to or not, it does affect the notions I have regarding physical intimacy.
The fact is I wish I could tell you that you can pray to God to help you avoid temptation and that you’ll succeed. The truth is you may struggle the rest of your life, even after you are married. I pray for daily strength. Daily! But I have to work at it too. When I pray for strength, I’m also committing to fill my mind with other things. When I first moved to Little Rock, it was really hard on me to leave OBU. I tried to make up the pain in other, unhealthy ways. But I saw the slippery slope I was on and took a radical step. I told a pastor my weaknesses—the things that without God, I would give in to—and asked him to hold me accountable. If I knew someone was keeping tabs on me, I would be much less likely to give in. Because let’s face it, sin is fun or we wouldn’t do it. The problem is it’s only temporary. God’s way is eternal and you have to drill that so far into the foundations of everything you are, that when the temptation is there, you can look past its immediacy and choose God’s better way. 1 Corinthians 6:12, 18-20 says "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
How do you keep that truth present so the decision is automatic when you are in that situation? Well, something is going to fill that space between your ears. You can let it be the things that will end up bringing pain after the pleasure has worn off, or you can let it be the lasting, positive things of God. Like healthy relationships, your education, a hobby, ministry work. What kind of music do you listen to? Is it filling your mind subconsciously with the wrong ideas of love? I choose to listen to music with positive lyrics. Some of it’s mainstream; some of it is not. The point is: fill your mind with the positive so that there’s no room for the negative.
But you have to choose to do so. We can sit up here and testify about the benefits all day, but you must choose to follow through with what is being taught. You know, I have not had one girlfriend in my life. Not one. I’m not saying girlfriends/boyfriends are a bad thing. I think it is important to learn how to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex. And I did so all through college and even now. I simply chose to spend my mental and physical efforts on getting a degree, a good job, a home, maturing my faith, growing my ministry, engaging my visions. I’ve obtained a lot of those goals, and as I told my guys in my SME group, I’m finally at a point—in my goals and more importantly, in my relationship with God—that I have the maturity and responsibility to put another person before me. You see, I have always been a loner. It doesn’t bother me one bit to live alone, be alone, or go it alone. It has always been just me. That’s a huge, lifelong lesson of selfishness to overcome. But by following God’s direction, He was and is able to grown me and prepare me. I may never get married. I’ve often considered that God may have called me to be single. That’s okay because I’ve chosen to be content. Well, except with the whole never getting to have sex part. Just kidding. But in the last few months, God has been changing my heart and for the first time, I’m open to building a significant relationship with a woman. And praise God that He has helped me through my 29 years of life for that one day when I just might have a wedding night and can honestly, wholly give myself for my spouse. Now that is God’s best when it comes to sex. That is why we cannot give in to the temporary pleasures, the immediate gratifications. Choose the right company, avoid the tempting situations, build healthy with God and other people, fill your mind with the positives. Arm yourselves now so when temptation is staring you right in the eye, you can say “my God is greater than this and He has something better prepared for me.” That’s how I do it every day.
Below is a statement given to me by a friend. I read it as the closing prayer.
Everyone longs to give him/herself completely to someone-to have a deeper soul relationship with another-to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian says "No. Not until you are satisfied and content and fulfilled with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me-to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone......I love you My child, and until you discover that in only Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction knowing that I am taking care of you. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you....You must wait.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at things that you want. Just keep looking off away up to Me or you will miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any of you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, I am working even now, this minute to have both of you ready at the same time-but until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, which is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most perfect and wonderful love. I want for you to see in the flesh a picture of Me, your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you always. Believe and be satisfied."
"I Am God Almighty"
God we claim this promise in the name of Jesus Christ, whose grace and love gives us the strength to wait for your best. Amen.
Tomorrow concludes the series and he has asked me to speak on my journey of purity. This is the transcript of the talk I'm giving.
So Greg and I were sitting at Taco Bell one night discussing this series and I casually mentioned how rewarding it has been to have waited. I know I don’t look it, but I’m going to be 30 years old this year. And I am living proof that it is possible to wait. I’m not saying it is always easy, but it is possible. And it has everything to do with what you fill your mind up with. So I’m going to share some experiences, offer some advice, and remind you of some verses that will help you in this journey.
You know, I can recall back in high school one of my best friends in class one day looking completely upset. I asked her what was wrong and she said she did something that she was going to go to hell for. Turned out, she had sex that weekend. And the guilt was pretty apparent. Well, for a time. We hung out a lot and I remember going to the movie one day and she began to hold my hand—mind you we were just friends—then she started shifting my hand toward her. It was very uncomfortable and I pulled back my hand. She told me she was very lonely and needed me to touch her. Looking back on that, she had tasted the sweet flavor of sex, but in her guilt and confusion, she had come to equate her worth with her physical emotions. In the end, I had to break off the friendship because it was damaging. That’s a radical step that I had to take in order to protect myself.
Who we let be closest to us is vital to our own health. And it’s really because high school is a time when we really start developing our values and beliefs. I saw a lot of PDA and heard a lot of talk that really left me asking myself “why does this matter so much?” Somewhere along the way society has taught us that love is equivalent to sex. If God is love, someone who doesn’t know God will equate love with something else. In fact, I read a statistic that said some 80% of prom attendees will engage in sexual activity. That’s staggering! So if I want my values, my beliefs, to be founded in God’s love which is eternal, I have to make the conscious decision to not make the physical aspect important. To not make it a big deal. And that is a day-by-day, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision. Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
I really don’t think we do ourselves any favors by focusing on an exclusive relationship with another person while in high school. In a time when you are developing your own faith, your own relationship with God, it is too distracting to try and focus on another person too. It just opens the door to temptation because your attention is divided. And until we build maturity in healthy relationship with God and other people, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be exclusive to someone. Now I’m not saying don’t date. By all means, go on dates our outings or whatever you want to call them. Guys, gain experience in how to treat a woman. Ladies, learn how a man is supposed to treat you. As you do, guard yourselves on how much personal information you share. If you give yourself fully on the emotional level at this stage in your life, the only place left to go after that wears out is giving yourself physically. That’s another guard you can put in place. So when I say don’t be “exclusive” I mean when you are going out, go with a group of friends. This will ensure accountability and will close the door to temptation. You have no business being alone; if you are, that’s removing the final hurdle to engaging in sexual activity.
So instead, focus your life on building up your character, your values, your education, your faith. That way you will be ready for the next stage of your life. Marriage—and sex for that matter—is about putting the other person’s needs before yours. So how can you possible do that when your own identity is still being forged? Enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Choose to not make physical intimacy important. Choose to focus on building yourself up from the inside.
College rolled around and man, were the temptations prevalent. There were periods of time it was very difficult to even avoid situations where sex was blaring at me. Yes, even at a Christian college. I was an RA and had to do periodic room checks for cleanliness. Many rooms had porn in the form of videos and magazines, with no attempt to hide them. It’s a destructive, double standard to view that stuff. And the thing is porn will only make you feel good for a short time. Aside from it not having anything to do with real life, it’s a temporary fix. When I worked at the crime lab, we had a “rule” about meth labs that said they weren’t really a meth lab unless there was porn and Mountain Dew. Occasionally, officers would watch that junk as I did my job, claiming they were “looking for evidence.” There are so many things like that that I’ve seen in my 20’s…I wish I could un-see them because whether I consciously allow it to or not, it does affect the notions I have regarding physical intimacy.
The fact is I wish I could tell you that you can pray to God to help you avoid temptation and that you’ll succeed. The truth is you may struggle the rest of your life, even after you are married. I pray for daily strength. Daily! But I have to work at it too. When I pray for strength, I’m also committing to fill my mind with other things. When I first moved to Little Rock, it was really hard on me to leave OBU. I tried to make up the pain in other, unhealthy ways. But I saw the slippery slope I was on and took a radical step. I told a pastor my weaknesses—the things that without God, I would give in to—and asked him to hold me accountable. If I knew someone was keeping tabs on me, I would be much less likely to give in. Because let’s face it, sin is fun or we wouldn’t do it. The problem is it’s only temporary. God’s way is eternal and you have to drill that so far into the foundations of everything you are, that when the temptation is there, you can look past its immediacy and choose God’s better way. 1 Corinthians 6:12, 18-20 says "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
How do you keep that truth present so the decision is automatic when you are in that situation? Well, something is going to fill that space between your ears. You can let it be the things that will end up bringing pain after the pleasure has worn off, or you can let it be the lasting, positive things of God. Like healthy relationships, your education, a hobby, ministry work. What kind of music do you listen to? Is it filling your mind subconsciously with the wrong ideas of love? I choose to listen to music with positive lyrics. Some of it’s mainstream; some of it is not. The point is: fill your mind with the positive so that there’s no room for the negative.
But you have to choose to do so. We can sit up here and testify about the benefits all day, but you must choose to follow through with what is being taught. You know, I have not had one girlfriend in my life. Not one. I’m not saying girlfriends/boyfriends are a bad thing. I think it is important to learn how to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex. And I did so all through college and even now. I simply chose to spend my mental and physical efforts on getting a degree, a good job, a home, maturing my faith, growing my ministry, engaging my visions. I’ve obtained a lot of those goals, and as I told my guys in my SME group, I’m finally at a point—in my goals and more importantly, in my relationship with God—that I have the maturity and responsibility to put another person before me. You see, I have always been a loner. It doesn’t bother me one bit to live alone, be alone, or go it alone. It has always been just me. That’s a huge, lifelong lesson of selfishness to overcome. But by following God’s direction, He was and is able to grown me and prepare me. I may never get married. I’ve often considered that God may have called me to be single. That’s okay because I’ve chosen to be content. Well, except with the whole never getting to have sex part. Just kidding. But in the last few months, God has been changing my heart and for the first time, I’m open to building a significant relationship with a woman. And praise God that He has helped me through my 29 years of life for that one day when I just might have a wedding night and can honestly, wholly give myself for my spouse. Now that is God’s best when it comes to sex. That is why we cannot give in to the temporary pleasures, the immediate gratifications. Choose the right company, avoid the tempting situations, build healthy with God and other people, fill your mind with the positives. Arm yourselves now so when temptation is staring you right in the eye, you can say “my God is greater than this and He has something better prepared for me.” That’s how I do it every day.
Below is a statement given to me by a friend. I read it as the closing prayer.
Everyone longs to give him/herself completely to someone-to have a deeper soul relationship with another-to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a Christian says "No. Not until you are satisfied and content and fulfilled with living, loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me-to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone......I love you My child, and until you discover that in only Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction knowing that I am taking care of you. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you....You must wait.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at things that you want. Just keep looking off away up to Me or you will miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any of you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, I am working even now, this minute to have both of you ready at the same time-but until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, which is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most perfect and wonderful love. I want for you to see in the flesh a picture of Me, your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you always. Believe and be satisfied."
"I Am God Almighty"
God we claim this promise in the name of Jesus Christ, whose grace and love gives us the strength to wait for your best. Amen.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
What is Church, Exactly?
In the last hour or so, my heart has suddenly become heavy. I've been on-again-off-again inviting a friend (who's identity I'll obscure) to come to my church some Sunday mornings. Sometimes he'll have to work, which is totally understandable. Other times, it was because he was working the night before or that afternoon. Reasons that struck me as odd, but I didn't totally know his schedule, so I let it go. But now it has come to light that he doesn't like church. I don't know why. But I told him I'd stop pestering him until we had a chance to talk.
My mind is racing with thoughts and I need to get them out. My friend often comes to community group on Tuesday nights. It's not even really a community group, the way they are intended to be at my church. It's more like a "house church." I mean, we can run 20-30 people sometimes. So how is that different from the building down the street that is open Sundays, instead? It's not different in my mind. Church is not a building, as any follower of Christ will tell you. The church is the body of Christ. It is also referred to as the bride of Christ. Each member belongs to all the others; it only works when we are all doing our part. Our purpose, our significance, our meaning is found there. Committing to go to church in a house, but not church at the building with a large auditorium is contradicting. The only difference is in my friend's mind. The truth is--whether he accepts and admits it or not--he can't stay locked up with his "holy huddle" that is community group and ignore the rest of the body of Christ because he doesn't like it. I can only imagine that something must have happened to really destroy the institution in his mind.
I'm here in Little Rock because of my church. I would have left a long time ago to pursue other career options if it hadn't been clear to me that God has purposed me to this body for this time. I find my greatest joy serving there. The Bible says we are to celebrate together in our triumphs and support each other in our troubles and trials. This is my family. Yes I have blood relatives whom I love very much. But in heaven, we are all going to be united in Christ as brothers and sisters.
Our pastor has often said that a Christian without a church is a contradiction. And I really do believe that. Not to Bible beat anyone, but Scripture is clear on this point. If a Christ-follower were to tell me they didn't believe in church, I would start with asking about their essential beliefs. I know the church does not always act according to God's design. But the character of God cannot be judged based on the flawed character of people. Even if they are our brothers and sisters. We're all forgiven and we need to remember that, even when it's especially hard. (Particularly in dealing with people who hold on to so-called traditions for tradition's sake. What a turn off that is when we are called to meet people where they are. Only through relationship building will we earn credibility to love that person toward God. That's another "sermon" though. LOL)
In my mind, why let the memories spoil the chances of experiencing God's best? "Pew fillers" are not any better. The church doesn't owe us anything. We are called to take part in God's work, and God uses the church to do that work. Worship, discipleship, ministry, fellowship, and evangelism. That's why we're here. So why don't we become active and make the church what it SHOULD be? We have a choice: to be bitter or get better. For the sake of loving God and loving others, I hope we will always choose the latter.
My mind is racing with thoughts and I need to get them out. My friend often comes to community group on Tuesday nights. It's not even really a community group, the way they are intended to be at my church. It's more like a "house church." I mean, we can run 20-30 people sometimes. So how is that different from the building down the street that is open Sundays, instead? It's not different in my mind. Church is not a building, as any follower of Christ will tell you. The church is the body of Christ. It is also referred to as the bride of Christ. Each member belongs to all the others; it only works when we are all doing our part. Our purpose, our significance, our meaning is found there. Committing to go to church in a house, but not church at the building with a large auditorium is contradicting. The only difference is in my friend's mind. The truth is--whether he accepts and admits it or not--he can't stay locked up with his "holy huddle" that is community group and ignore the rest of the body of Christ because he doesn't like it. I can only imagine that something must have happened to really destroy the institution in his mind.
I'm here in Little Rock because of my church. I would have left a long time ago to pursue other career options if it hadn't been clear to me that God has purposed me to this body for this time. I find my greatest joy serving there. The Bible says we are to celebrate together in our triumphs and support each other in our troubles and trials. This is my family. Yes I have blood relatives whom I love very much. But in heaven, we are all going to be united in Christ as brothers and sisters.
Our pastor has often said that a Christian without a church is a contradiction. And I really do believe that. Not to Bible beat anyone, but Scripture is clear on this point. If a Christ-follower were to tell me they didn't believe in church, I would start with asking about their essential beliefs. I know the church does not always act according to God's design. But the character of God cannot be judged based on the flawed character of people. Even if they are our brothers and sisters. We're all forgiven and we need to remember that, even when it's especially hard. (Particularly in dealing with people who hold on to so-called traditions for tradition's sake. What a turn off that is when we are called to meet people where they are. Only through relationship building will we earn credibility to love that person toward God. That's another "sermon" though. LOL)
In my mind, why let the memories spoil the chances of experiencing God's best? "Pew fillers" are not any better. The church doesn't owe us anything. We are called to take part in God's work, and God uses the church to do that work. Worship, discipleship, ministry, fellowship, and evangelism. That's why we're here. So why don't we become active and make the church what it SHOULD be? We have a choice: to be bitter or get better. For the sake of loving God and loving others, I hope we will always choose the latter.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
What the Puck?
Okay I just have to vent for a second. The Dallas Stars played spectacularly in Game 1 and 2 of the quarterfinal round for the 2008 Stanley Cup. Their power play game was top notch. It's what they do best. They went up 2-0 for the series. Now they are back home for two games. An even better advantage, one would think. Apparently it doesn't matter. I don't want to use the cliche excuse that they were overconfident, so I'm just gonna break it down based on my limited knowledge of the game.
Handle the stinking puck! I swear they couldn't pass the puck to save their lives! Players were losing it right out from under themselves. Turnovers all day, creating scoring opportunities for the Ducks. Poor passing! In fact, twice they had delay of game penalties. Those result from a defensive player purposefully or accidentally shooting the puck out of play. That's right....they passed it completely out of the rink, over the glass, into the stands.
Finally in the third period they capitalized on two power play opportunities. But it was too late. 4 goals in the first 15:00 minutes of the game had already sealed it for the Ducks. And the Stars couldn't get anything done during a double-minor power play near the end. Ouch, guys.
Only thing I can figure is God is punishing me for not going to community group tonight. Had I finished painting, cleaned up and gone, and watched the game later, they would probably have won. That's what I'm telling myself anyway... My bad, Stars. My bad...
Handle the stinking puck! I swear they couldn't pass the puck to save their lives! Players were losing it right out from under themselves. Turnovers all day, creating scoring opportunities for the Ducks. Poor passing! In fact, twice they had delay of game penalties. Those result from a defensive player purposefully or accidentally shooting the puck out of play. That's right....they passed it completely out of the rink, over the glass, into the stands.
Finally in the third period they capitalized on two power play opportunities. But it was too late. 4 goals in the first 15:00 minutes of the game had already sealed it for the Ducks. And the Stars couldn't get anything done during a double-minor power play near the end. Ouch, guys.
Only thing I can figure is God is punishing me for not going to community group tonight. Had I finished painting, cleaned up and gone, and watched the game later, they would probably have won. That's what I'm telling myself anyway... My bad, Stars. My bad...
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